Telling and Selling

This blog is the final of the series exploring why and how I believe America can achieve honest change.

There is a scientifically proven concept that demonstrates how a group can become more valuable than the sum of its parts. It is at the core of nearly every successful enterprise in the history of mankind, and it requires no equipment, college degree, or money to utilize its full potential. Yet, despite its availability, it is rarely used in American politics. It's called dialogue.

This word carries many meanings. It can be as simply defined as two or more people talking to each other. Phone conversations, business meetings, and even written words in a script fall into the category of dialogue. Politicians have even commented on a desire to "have a dialogue with the American people."

But I submit that there is very little real dialogue going on in government today, and nearly none in campaigning. So what is the form of communication preferred by our nation's leaders?

Telling and selling. Politicians tell you what to think, and if you aren't ready to agree with them, then they try to sell you on their ideas. There is almost no intercommunication (other than polls) between politicians and constituents and there is even an less reciprocal relationship between the parties.

The Co-Intelligence Institute is a nonprofit organization devoted to improving understanding and execution of dialogue. They define real, honest dialogue as "shared exploration towards greater understanding, connection, or possibility." Communications theorist Ken Lebensold, who extrapolated the work of late quantum physicist David Bohm, defines two other types of communication.

- Antagonistic communication: Conversations that can't seem to move beyond conflict.
- Banal communication: Conversations which feel oppressive, boring, or depressing.

These two types of communication are driven by telling and selling, and seem to define the way our politicians interact with each other and the American people. Antagonistic communication occurs when individuals or groups refuse to acknowledge the validity of an different or opposing viewpoint. Banal communication is characterized by the avoidance of substance in conversation.

When was the last time you heard a politician say something that didn't fit into one of these two categories?

But let's ease off the politicians for a moment. The truth is that most of us spend a majority of our time telling and selling, rather than engaging in honest dialogue. Talk shows, the news, and lunchtime debates at work rarely include an effort to come-up with multi-layered solutions to today's complicated problems. Instead, we do exactly what our politicians do, and endeavor to "win" the argument.

But who's winning? Don't we still have a failing education system? Aren't tax laws still unfair and confusing? Doesn't foreign policy still seem to be a crapshoot?

If one party had the solutions to our problems, they would be solved by now. Both the Democrats and the Republicans have had control of both houses of congress, as well as the Presidency. We've had liberal and conservative courts. And yet, here we are, still complaining about education, taxes, and foreign affairs. Even when both parties come together on something (i.e. voting to invade Iraq) it seems to end in squabbling.

Here's a crazy idea: gather together the brightest minds on a subject, along with leaders from both parties, and a few accountants (money is always a factor) and lock them in a room--preferably without the press--until they arrive at a solution that makes sense to everyone. Then, if things don't seem to go as planned, call them back together, analyze the situation, maybe add or subtract a few voices, and reform.

This is how government is meant to work. In fact, this is the only way government actually works at all. It's time for us to expect real dialogue from our politicians and from ourselves. We need to stop telling and selling, and start using communication as an opportunity for reciprocal concept enhancement. After all, that's how the United States of America was born.